Marriage, or Whatever That Still Means

“And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”” – Matthew 19:3-6 (ESV)

Sometimes, I wonder what the term “marriage” means in our modern day culture. Sometimes I even wonder if it still holds any meaning at all.

We live today in an era of rapid change: technology advancing nearly at the speed of light and knowledge becoming accessible to everyone at their fingertips. The fight against illiteracy is prevailing to a point where “third world countries” is becoming so yesterday. We want to break free from the bondage that society, politics and religion have had on us in the past, from all sorts of regulations and limitations that we deem obsolete and no longer fit for our modern day culture; all for the sake of “Freedom“, “Love”, “Tolerance”, “Open Mindedness”, “Education” and every heroic theme you can think of with an epic soundtrack in the background.
Don’t get me wrong, all these mottoes are each excellent in the sense of the term and are all ideas worth fighting and even dying for. But my concern is: Are we doing things right? Is this really how things should be going?

We say we wanna throw off the barriers of religion from our lives and have sex before marriage, because a couple should logically test their sexual compatibility together before they make a big step they might regret later. “What if they weren’t compatible and only found out after marriage?”. Well I think we can test everything by the fruits of it in the end. Is sex before marriage creating happily married couples? Is it even ending in marriage?! I think that statistics show otherwise.

We say we wanna live together before we get married, because a couple should logically test how they interact together in the house before making the big step of saying “I Do” to each other. Well is this reducing divorce rate by any chance? I think that statistics show otherwise.

We keep doing this until we find the “One”, perfect in all aspects, great in bed and great around the house, but are we really finding the “One” or are we just jumping from One to another in our desperate search for the “One”, only to discover this “One” doesn’t exist. In fact if this “One” ever existed, chances are they have messed themselves up so bad in their desperate search for their “One”.

Why is it that couples who have sex and cohabitation before marriage aren’t getting married that much and the ones who do are most likely to end up in divorce? If what we’re doing is so right, how come we’re having such terrible results?

The problem is that we want to have all the rights of a married couple without having to be actually married. We are looking for commitment with the right person when we are actually afraid of the commitment itself. The problem is that we have lost the real definition of marriage and have attempted to redefine marriage in ways that suit us.

Let me give you the right definition of marriage, not my own definition but the definition that God put for marriage when he first created marriage the way that he intended marriage to be and to stay.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment between two people of the opposite sex in which the two no longer are two but become one flesh. In other terms it is a contract that binds two people together by their own choice and free will until death do them part. Now let me elaborate more on the “become one flesh” part. The act of becoming one flesh does not happen when they are pronounced husband and wife, it happens when the two have sex for the first time. This is marriage. What happens when they are pronounced husband and wife is the wedding. What people seem to be confusing nowadays is marriage and wedding. They think that they can have sex all they want and WHEN they feel they’re “ready” they can have a wedding to announce officially their marriage which has in fact happened the instant they slept together. So to God, they were already married. To him the rest is just paperwork. This is why you can’t have sex before marriage or should I say the wedding, not because God doesn’t want you to have sex or to enjoy fulfilling the desires that he put in you in the first place, but because sex IS the marriage. This is the way he ordained it from the beginning. Which means that this is the ONLY way it will work. You can’t outsmart the system. You can only try, but I think we’ve seen enough where this has taken us. We just have to be humble enough to accept the rules that God has put for our own benefit, knowing that he knew exactly what he was doing. Why do we accept physical rules like gravity and don’t try to defy them by doing something stupid like jumping off the 10th floor hoping to fly magically but when it comes to matters of the heart we suddenly think we are experts at this? You will still say: “well what if a couple abstained from sex before the wedding and on the night of their marriage found out they weren’t compatible sexually?”. Well this is why marriage is a lifetime commitment in which the married couple will LEARN how to please each other and in time they WILL. When you are committed for life to your spouse you will do everything that is in your power to please them and keep pleasing them. This is what commitment means. It’s not some stupid vows you make for the sake of tradition. It’s your word of honor which you will be held accountable for. “What God has joined together let not man separate”. God didn’t join you because you got married in a church, God joined you because you slept together. You became one flesh according to his ordinance. And when you divorce you break the covenant that you made with each other and God.

Commitment is a meaning we’ve lost in our marriages over the years. Like I said before, we want to enjoy all the rights of a married couple without having to face the responsibilities of our own actions. And with commitment gone out of the window, you can only imagine why we have such high divorce rates, so many teen pregnancies, bastard children, abortions, teen delinquencies and the list unfortunately goes on and on and on…

I can’t even imagine how things will be if same-sex marriage becomes legitimate everywhere.

Sometimes, I wonder what the term “marriage” means in our modern day culture. Sometimes I even wonder if it still holds any meaning at all.


Author: Valiant Sheep

I live my life for the one who gave it to me. Musician from the age of 5, I write music with a message of hope and purpose in order to help people get in touch with their life giver. I also compose music for film, a lot of which you can check out on this website.

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